...On The Phone

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Patient:  "Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
Doctor Al:  "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"
Patient:  "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."

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Patient:  "Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
Doctor Al:  "Do you drink a lot?"
Patient:  "Not really - I spill most of it!"

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Patient:  "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
Doctor Al:  "Yes, of course..."
Patient:  "Great! I never could before!"

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Patient:  "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
Doctor Al:  "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
Patient:  "No, you idiot!" "This is her husband!"

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Doctor Al:  I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient:  Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor Al:  The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient:  24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor Al:  I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

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Doctor Al:  "I've got very bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's"
Patient:  "Well, at least I don't have cancer"

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Doctor Al's Code Of Ethical Behavior For Patients

Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery

Doctor Al At The Office

Doctor Al's Medical Dictionary for Laymen

Doctor Al's "Find Out How Long You Have Lived Calculator"

Doctor Al Reads Your Mind!!

Doctor Al's Main Page

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