...At The Office
A man walks into Doctor Al's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Man: "What's the matter with me?"
Doctor Al: "You're not eating properly."
A young woman comes in complaining of pain.
Doctor Al: "Where are you hurting?"
Young Woman: "You have to help me, I hurt all over."
Doctor Al: "What do you mean, all over?" "be a little more specific."
She touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
Doctor Al checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
Patient: "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
Doctor Al: "Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."
A guy walked into the office. Doctor Al's receptionist, Hilda, asked him what he had.
The guy said, "Shingles."
So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
A few minutes later, Mary, a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had.
The guy said, "Shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
Ten minutes later the head nurse, Liz, came in and asked him what he had.
The guy said, "Shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
Fifteen minutes later Doctor Al came in and asked him what he had.
The guy said, "Shingles."
Doctor Al asked, "Where?"
The guy said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor Al: Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.
Doctor Al's Code Of Ethical Behavior For Patients
Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery
Doctor Al On The Phone
Doctor Al's Medical Dictionary for Laymen
Doctor Al's "Find Out How Long You Have Lived Calculator"
Doctor Al Reads Your Mind!!
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